Morgan Ness

What struck me most about the story of Jacob is not the fantastical visions of his dream, nor the dramatic wrestling match with his twin brother’s guardian angel, but simply that he was afraid. While traveling, Jacob is forced to spend the night in the wilderness–in Mt. Moriah, where his father Isaac came face to face with death a generation before. Upon waking from his dream of the ladder, Jacob exclaims, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.”

Of course, he would be surprised to find God in such a place. The place he grew up hearing stories about, the horrible pain his father endured there, the horrifying image he must have built in his mind. Of course, by all accounts, he would be afraid of this place, afraid of the significance it held for his family, the fear in his blood, passed from father to son. Jacob’s struggle with his father’s trauma made me consider my own; the things my family doesn’t speak about, doesn’t acknowledge. In unpacking this generational trauma, I have had to look into myself at the black mirror there in order to face the truth that I carry in my bones. I Will Not Go Until I Bless Me addresses this turmoil headfirst. In it, I am both the angel and the wrestler, fighting against myself, against what has happened to me, to my family, to us all. It’s uncertain which part of me will come out victorious, and what wounds the struggle will uncover.

About Morgan

Morgan Ness is an artist, designer, photographer, and researcher living and working in Indiana. Her work combines photography, drawing, poetry, and prose to converse with the viewer about her inner world. Through her work, she strives to make connections where there previously were none, crafting close, personal moments with the viewer. The inspiration for her work is derived from deep self-reflection, ruminations on the past, and a deep desire for connection. She is a graduate of the Herron School of Art and Design at IUPUI and is an active member of the Indianapolis art community.